In Too Deep Read online

  In Too Deep

  By Dakota Issacs

  (c) 2019 by Dakota Issacs

  Chapter 1

  God, Lou wished she could teleport. If she could only put her mind to it and find herself in her kitchen. Instead, she was merely a superpower-free human without the budget for a sixteen-dollar cab ride.

  She wanted to get home, throw her butt in the shower, and grab something to eat. No, eat first then shower.

  Maybe she should stop and treat herself to a slice.

  She’d been about to go on her lunch break when a two-top walked into the restaurant just before the end of lunch service. The lazy bartender refused to take them, even though he wasn’t on his double. So Lou waited on them, giving her just enough time to take a pee and eat family meal while she stood in the kitchen before the dinner shift started.

  The meal of the day was ground meat on rice. She wondered if it was incidental that it resembled dog food.

  The rhythmic clicking of heels behind her caught Lou’s attention. God, the woman behind her walked fast. She was almost on Lou’s heels and Lou walked fast. Lou moved over to let her pass.

  She caught up to Lou and started to walk in step with her. Maybe she was afraid of being mugged? Lou let the woman match her steps. She didn’t look like a nervous tourist, maybe she was traveling on business alone. With her silky black trench and super high heels, she looked like one of the female villains in a Bond movie.

  “Louisa Allen?” the woman asked.

  Lou was so surprised to hear her name she didn’t answer right away.

  “You are Louisa Allen? Yes?”

  The woman put both her hands on Lou’s arms and turned her around to face her.

  “Yes?” Lou said.

  “It’s begun. I need you to put this on.” The woman pressed something shiny into Lou’s hand.

  “What?”

  “It’s a blindfold, Ms. Allen. Put it over your eyes please. I would rather not stand on this street all night long.”

  Lou’s brain couldn’t work it all out.

  “On. Now.” The woman commanded.

  “Wait. It’s not supposed to start till tomorrow at noon; I have the address, and anyway I was planning to call Genevieve tonight. I really can’t do this.”

  “Really? You can’t do this? And you think cancelling the night before is appropriate? Someone has invested a lot for a chance to meet you and you’re simply going to stand them up?”

  “Listen, I am sorry but I. . .”

  “I get that you are nervous Louisa, but it doesn’t give you the right to be cruel. At the very least, you owe them an apology in person.”

  “You’re right.” Lou said.

  “Of course I am.” said the blonde. “Put this on.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Lou said. “I’m just apologizing. That’s it.”

  “If you get in the car, you follow my rules, Louisa. Blindfold on. Now”

  “Look. I’ll get in the car because you’re right. I should apologize in person but there is no way I am putting that thing on.”

  “My car. My rules.” The blonde lowered her voice to a whisper, and placed the satiny mask in Lou’s hands. Then she leaned against the limo’s door and waited.

  Lou’s hands shook as she slipped the blindfold over her eyes.

  “Better. Now put your hands behind your back.”

  Lou fought the panic. What had she been thinking? She wasn’t cut out for this. Come on, Lou. She could endure a car ride. The woman was tying her wrists together with some sort of cord. Her thumb was stroking the pulse point of Lou’s wrist, sending unwanted shivers through her body.

  The woman’s hands moved to her waist as she steered Lou down the sidewalk.

  “It’s her bachelorette party.” The Bond girl called out to someone on the street in a cheery voice. Lou briefly thought about calling out for help. Instead, she fought back the tears that kept threatening to rise up and let the woman steer her off the sidewalk. She helped Lou step down into the street and pushed her head down as they stepped into the car.

  Lou heard her slide into the seat next to her. The door closed and she heard the locks click and then they were moving.

  “Where are we going?”

  “We’ll be at our destination shortly. That’s enough conversation Louisa.”

  Lou leaned back into the seat and tried to breathe.

  This was all Audra’s fault, she thought. No, Lou, who are you kidding? This is all your fault. You were an idiot to think you could ever attempt anything like this. Okay, maybe it was the Bloody Mary’s fault.

  It was the end of brunch. Lou was on her fourth Bloody Mary, which was a not very Lou thing, and soon, her friends were asking what was wrong. Lou wanted to tell someone so bad even if it was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her, and Audra and Aggie were her closest friends. If she couldn’t talk to them, who was left? This wasn’t a conversation she could have with her mother.

  “I tried to sleep with Jason on Wednesday.”

  “Tried, baby? What do you mean tried?” Aggie asked.

  And then it had all come slipping out.

  The humiliating fact was that, at twenty-four, Lou was still a virgin and she had tried to remedy that with Jason, who had seemed like a perfectly reasonable if boring choice. She just wanted it over and done with. She wanted to move into the grownup phase of her life. Grownups had boyfriends. Grownups had sex.

  All Lou’s friends were moving on and pairing off. Lou was the odd extra when her friends went out for dinner, reservation for five not four. It made Lou feel awkward and alone. Lou wasn’t stupid. She needed to move on with her life before her friends left her behind. She knew they wouldn’t do it intentionally, but her life would veer so far away from theirs they would leave all the same.

  Lou was an unintentional virgin, the most embarrassing kind. She wasn’t held back by religious convictions. Men simply didn’t ask her out. In college she was set up by friends. She had plenty of blind dates that ranged from awkward to awful. It was more appealing to paint a mural on her apartment walls then to subject herself to the misery that a fix up entailed.

  Sex. On paper it seemed so appealing. In reality her date’s kisses were never ‘drugging’. They were sloppy affairs that tasted like tuna fish. And with the guys she really liked it was impossible to look them in the eye.

  Jason was different. He wasn’t a setup from one of her friends. He simply sat in her section and asked her out for coffee. They had a handful of dates, and a few double dates with her friends. That was the clincher. He seemed to fit in immediately. So one Friday night she invited him over for dinner, and then she asked him to stay the night. She bought her first box of condoms and tucked them in her top dresser drawer.

  It started out fine. The kissing was nice, and the clothes had started to come off. There were muscles under Jason’s clothes—also nice. His hands on her breasts and hips—nice. His fingers between her legs—really nice. But he only touched her for a few seconds and then he was on top of her, one hand shoving her legs apart.

  When he started to push in, that’s when it all went to hell. It hurt. It really fucking hurt, like she was on fire down there. Her mouth made a noise of protest before she could stop it.

  “Relax, you’re so tight,” he muttered.

  She tried but it hurt more than she’d ever imagined. She didn’t think it was hurting him like it hurt her. What was his problem?

  “You’re so tight.” He kept saying it like a complaint. He grunted and gave another push. Lou’s eyes filled with tears.

  “Fucking relax and let me in, Lou” he growled.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I’ve never done this before.”

  That’s when he went nuts.
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  “You’re a fucking virgin? But you’re my age,” he shouted.

  After that he had basically ran out of her apartment.

  After Lou’s confession Audra wouldn’t let her go home alone, so Lou wound up in Audra’s new apartment. It was actually Audra’s new boyfriend’s apartment. He worshiped Audra, and while he had never made Lou feel anything other than welcome, she was still nervous around him, even though that wasn’t his fault. He was just too rich and too good-looking.

  Lou had to toss her Bloody Mary fueled brunch into Audra’s pristine toilet as soon as she made it through the door.

  “I’ve got an extra toothbrush. Top left drawer, babe.” Audra must have stood outside the door the entire time. Lou’s life was one big embarrassment.

  When she came out, Audra was there with another hug.

  “Come on. You’re gonna lie down. When you wake up, Max is going to cook dinner for us. It’s gonna be alright. I promise.”

  “Audra, I don’t want to bother you guys. I think I’m just going to go home and sleep it off.”

  Suddenly, Max was beside her.

  “You’re not going anywhere, Lou.” He handed her a Gatorade and pressed some aspirin into her other hand.

  “You’re not a bother, Lou. You’re Audra’s best friend which means you’re my friend. Drink your Gatorade, take your aspirin and lie down. You’ll feel better.”

  He took her by the elbow and steered her into the guest room. Who the fuck had a guest room in Manhattan? Then he kissed her on the forehead like she was a child and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. The chaste kiss was the last straw, Lou cried herself to sleep on their guest bed.

  When she woke up, she did feel better. The house was full of splendid cooking smells and her headache was gone.

  Max had made a sweet corn risotto and a roast chicken and they both made light banter like she was a guest on the Audra and Max show. It would have been really nice if she could forget she didn’t have a Max and might never have a Max.

  “You’re welcome to stay the night, Lou,” they said.

  “If I don’t go home now, I might stay forever,” she joked.

  “You’re always welcome, Lou.” Max’s voice had gone low and serious.

  “I was going to talk to you about this tomorrow over breakfast, but if you’re sure you want to go home tonight, I want you to take this card.”

  He handed it to her across the dinner table.

  “Let me preface this by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin.”

  “Oh, God. You told him?”

  “Let him help you, Lou. Your first time can be wonderful. You deserve that.”

  “What the hell, Audra? I’m not going to sleep with your boyfriend.” Audra had always been the most sexually adventurous of her friends, but this was insane.

  Her friend snorted a laugh that pushed wine out of her nose. She started to laugh so hard tears poured down her face, “Lou, that’s not what she meant,” Max said. He was biting his lip hard, trying not to laugh.

  God, could her life get any worse? She got on her feet and headed for the door, her cheeks red with embarrassment. Audra was still laughing.

  “Lou, I’m not letting you leave until I explain. Come on; let’s have a drink in my study.” Max caught her arm before she made it out of the kitchen. He kept his hand on her arm, holding her steady.

  “Audra, baby, when you collect yourself would you make us some tea?”

  “Lou. You’re too nice to stay angry at us.”

  He put his hand on her shoulder and walked her out of the kitchen and into his study.

  He pointed to a leather sofa in the corner.

  “Have a seat, Lou.”

  Lou stayed standing.

  “Lou. Sit down now.”

  Lou should have walked out the door. She was not going to discuss her virginity with her best friend’s too hot boyfriend, but there was something about his tone that made Lou take a seat on the couch.

  “Thank you,” he said more gently.

  “So this is fucking awkward.” Max grinned at her. “If I pour myself a scotch, will the smell make you nauseous?”

  “No, it’s fine.”

  He walked over to a small bar cart and poured himself two generous fingers. Then he walked over and took the chair next to the couch.

  “What I’m going to tell you I don’t talk about very often. Audra’s never told you how we met, has she?”

  “No. She’s told me. She waited on you. You kept coming in to have breakfast and you always sat in her section until she finally asked you out.”

  “I lied.” Audra was standing in the door, a mug in each of her hands.

  She came in and sat beside Lou, sitting the mugs of tea on the coffee table.

  “I’m sorry. Lou, don’t give me that hurt face. I’m really sorry. You’re just so sweet, and innocent, and I didn’t tell you because I thought you’d disapprove. I didn’t want to lose your friendship. I love you. You’re my best friend.”

  “I love you, too,” Lou said feeling hurt. This day kept getting worse and worse.

  “The truth is I met Max through a service. You have to have a recommendation from someone who’s used it. It matches people with certain sexual needs with like-minded individuals. It’s very hush hush and exclusive and safe, with background checks and medical tests. Anyway, let’s just say that there are lots of men who would love to be your first. They would actually plan it to be a memorable experience. There are guys who get off on that. They would want to blow your mind. “

  “I’m not even sure I’m still technically a…”

  “I think you’re close enough.” Max said dryly.

  Audra gave him a look.

  “The card Max handed you,” she said, “is for the guy who runs the service.”

  “There are tests, Lou.” Max said. “It’s a lot of work: medical tests, psychological tests, and a series of interviews. After you complete the tests, you sit down informally with a group of men interested in meeting you. No names. They would be assigned numbers. And they wouldn’t know your name, either. If you are interested in them, you simply write their numbers down on a form and rate them on a scale. If that idea is overwhelming you could let the service pick the most compatible candidate. That’s what I did and they weren’t wrong.

  “I won’t lie, honey. Trick, the guy who runs the service, is an intense motherfucker, but if you can pass his tests and tell him the truth about what you’re looking for, he’s like a pussy whisperer. Hell, he’s actually a love whisperer. Every woman I know that he’s matched up is still with the man he chose for her. Shit, you don’t know his real name though, okay. He’s a friend. Well, he’s mostly Max’s friend but he likes to keep the club separate. Everyone’s, especially his identity, is a secret unless they choose to reveal it.

  “Okay,” Lou said.

  “It’s okay to be overwhelmed. It’s okay to want absolutely no part of this. We just wanted you to know there’s another option,” Max said.

  “Do you hate me?” Audra asked, laying her head on Lou’s shoulder. “For the lying?”

  “How can I hate you? You’re my best friend.”

  Audra gave her a big squeezy hug.

  Chapter 2

  Lou sat on the subway with her backpack on her lap. She took the card out of the backpack’s tiny zippered-pocket and looked at it again. No words, just a phone number. She held the card in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the cardstock. She couldn’t really do this, could she? This was for people like Audra, fearless, loud, adventurous women who weren’t afraid to say what they wanted.

  To tell someone what she desired sexually? How about she had no fucking idea? She had fantasies of course. She devoured books where the heroine was tied up and pleasured till she lost her mind. But these were fantasies. Would she even like the reality? Would she be safe?

  She only knew what she didn’t want, some guy leaping off her like her virginity was worse than a d
isease.

  Audra was a beautiful woman. Lou was pretty enough, but it was a subtle kind of pretty. What if she met with a group of men and not a single one of them wanted her? Wait. Max was a guy and he clearly thought someone would be interested in her. And hell, Lou was funny, she was smart and she was a good friend. She was kind. Or more that she made an effort to be kind. This wasn’t college. There had to be grown men who valued kind, funny women. Was that even what guys in a sex club wanted? Kindness? Or was it more the novelty of being someone’s first. Like her virginity was some sort of prize. Which was a ridiculous notion.

  But Lou did like the idea of someone who could take charge. A man who would make the experience good for both of them. That seemed wonderful.

  Is that what Audra had looked for? Someone to be in charge. Or did she have darker needs. Did she want to be tied up? Spanked? Lou could see the appeal of that. Giving up the control. She imagined a little bit of pain might take you out of your head and place you firmly in the moment.

  When Lou got home, she put the card on top of her dresser drawer and left it there. For two days the thought of the card taunted her.

  Wednesday was her short day. She only worked lunch. When she made it into her apartment at four, she walked right into her bedroom, pulled her cell phone out with a shaking hand and dialed the number of the card.

  Someone answered on the third ring.

  “Genevieve here. May I ask whom I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

  “Hi, Genevieve. My name is Louisa Allen and Audra Morgan gave me this number.”

  “Louisa, it’s nice to speak with you. You’re interested in our service I take it.”

  “I am. Or, at least, I think I am.”

  Genevieve laughed.

  “It’s okay; you don’t have to know that yet. If Audra thinks you’re a good fit, you probably are though. Would you like to come in and talk about it?”

  “Sure.”

  “Do you have anytime tomorrow?”

  “In the morning or early afternoon, I do. I don’t have to work till four.”

  “How about 1 pm? It shouldn’t take more than an hour. Do you have a smart phone? I’ll send you an address and directions. Call this number if you’re going to be late, or if you get lost.”